Attempting to wash it all away!

Many decisions are having to be made because of occurrences out of my control. But in doing so, I get rid of him quicker out of my life. And that is possibly within the next 3 months. That would be absolutely fabulous. There is still a little part of me that feels as though I am cheating on him, even though we aren't together and he has moved on. I think that if I break this tie from him now, then I will be able to move on even more with my life. And maybe I won't have the feeling as if I am cheating on him. I know it sounds crazy. But when I got married, I got married for life. It is very hard to turn that feeling off after a year. I know....I know....I am crazy, but this is life. This was never supposed to happen to me. I never wanted this to happen to me. It happened to my parents...it wasn't supposed to happen to me. So, I believe that the decision I am making, will only further my mind in making me feel as though I am NOT cheating. I feel as though this decision will help me because I will not have to deal with him ever again.

I have also taken a big step as of late, and have not worn much of the jewelry that he had given me over the years. At times I miss wearing it, but one piece in particular could be construed by potential suitors as if I am engaged. And that could be further from the truth. So, I only wear 2 pieces that he gave me. One, 1 of 2 watches and two, a pair of diamond studs that I don't take out at night. I feel that those pieces are ok because they aren't flashy.

On an even better note, I am soon to be rid of my roommate. They have a verbal offer to sell their home in Rhode Island. They are just waiting for the signed contract so that they can begin to make the final arrangements of moving down here. Long story short, they will be getting an apartment while looking for a house down here. Which will then free me up. At times, I have felt as though I am a maid/chef in my own home. She never lifted so much of a finger around here. Occassionally emptying the dishwasher, but that was about it. Cooked 4 times, in the 3 months (will be 4 when she moves out) that she was here and basically demanded dinner. Never once offering to help or do much about starting dinner. So, needless to say, I am really disenchanted with having a roommate ever again. I think a future mate/spouse will be different because I will be able to learn about the person before hand. I have learned my lesson all to well with this roommate thing. Never again will it be sight unseen. EVER!!!!