Update!!

Good news: They found a house!! Bad news: won't be able to move in until mid-September. I am hoping I can keep my sanity until then.

In the mean time, I have been having fun with my camera. I was able to get the zoom lense for my camera this past weekend and now I am really having some fun!!

Hugs to you all!!

OK, so its not as bad as I thought

She won't be staying very long. She realized that we both have strong heads and apparently they are going to have enough money for both of them to move down here within the next 2 weeks. This is going to get real interesting, real quick. Mark should be here by the beginning of September and she will only be in my house for approximately 2 weeks. This seems to be a blessing in disguise, but I am still waiting for them to realize it possibly may not work. Keeping a positive attitude though so that it works out for them AND me and we can all be happy campers.

So, let's see....

Things are good and mildly annoying at the moment. I have gotten my camera and have taken lots of pictures. I need to start posting some here. I am really enjoying what I see through the lense. I just need to get a bigger zoom lense now. I realized this past week and last night that it would be so much easier to get close up shots of the players (went to a baseball game the other night and the Bucs practice session last night). But I can wait a bit longer for it. I've got some housesitting jobs lined up so I should have it in no time.

Now to the mildly annoying. While I love my brother and sister in law, I more often than not question their motives and the things that they do. They decided to put their house on the market so that they can move to Florida. They HAD a buyer for their house, but he backed out. So even though that is not a done deal with getting the house sold, they are still moving forward and moving down here without having thought everything through. While I think it is awesome that Beth was able to find a job down here, Mark has not, and will continue to live in NC until such time as something comes along or the house sells. Whichever comes first. However, here is the kicker. I will be having a roommate AGAIN soon. Her name is Beth, a family member, my sister in law. I honestly don't know her very well and she considers herself my "sister" because she doesn't talk to her own sister. She says that she is going to come into my home and start rearranging things and I honestly don't appreciate it. I am hoping that this will not be another situation like the last one. I am so irritated that they just assumed that she could come live with me. Did they not take into consideration that I just had someone living with me? Did they not take into consideration that I have a life and intend to live it? I have honestly come accustomed to living on my own. I love it! And when someone tells me that they are coming into to change it, I tend to get a little upset by that. ARGH!!!

So, I am going to take this opportunity to just relax and get to know her, but at the same time, enjoy my life around her. I have to. I can't just sit back and let what I have going on in my life get trampled on. I am truly finding my backbone in all of this. I learned my lesson the first time with the other roommate. I am not going to let this one walk all over me. Not going to happen.

More rantings from me will probably be forthcoming, but I had to get this off my chest. I am feeling a bit better now. Pray for me and my sanity. I am going to need it!! Love to you all!

In Search of...

So, I am in search of some new, old friends. My so-called friends are not what I want anymore. I don't want to associate with them anymore. They are rude and obnoxious and I am done with all of that. I realized that if I want to find somebody decent, that I had to learn that I am judged by whom I hang out with. The things that have gone on the last few weeks with them was not the best for me. I am branching out on my own and will be finding some new hobbies to keep occupied. I am thinking of taking a class or two in the fall and taking up photography. I have done a lot of thinking about this over the long weekend. I feel this is the best decision for me to find me. I need to define me and what I like to do.

Guys that I have been talking to ask me what I like to do, and I realized that I didn't have a true answer. I have always been interested in photography and I feel that this is the best way to get started. I know what I like to do, but doing it, and being involved in it, are 2 different things. I am taking the charge and moving forward with finding out exactly what I like to do. By taking up photography, I feel that I can find out 2 things. 1) liking photography and 2) traveling. I was talking to my mom about it tonight and she thinks its a good idea. We were talking about different places to go and see, and the furthest away would be Bok Tower in Lake Wales. I am really looking forward to going there and enjoying the grounds there. Another place I want to go is The Ringling Museum in Sarasota. It has been a long time since I have been there. I will certainly start off close to home, but those are long term goals to achieve and very doable.

So, I am in search of something new to do. Something fun to see. And hope that you won't mind a few new pictures every now and then.

On-line dating....

Is it a joke? I am beginning to think that it truly is. It's getting down right frustrating that guys seem to be after one thing and one thing only. That's not what I am looking for and they don't seem to get it. I've been told that you have to kiss a few frogs and/or go through 100 a-holes in order to find Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now....and what's really sad is that I have gone through about 40 guys....40!!! That is an awful number of frogs/a-holes. I am hoping to find Mr. Right when the time is right. I want someone to love me for me and not try to change who I am. They must accept me for who I am and what I do in life.

Everything else is good! Just needed to get that off of my chest.

1 year ago today

I became a free woman. It was a year ago today that I walked into the Chattham County courthouse a married woman and walked out a single woman. Thinking about that statement makes me wonder about a lot of things in life. I honestly feel that it too easy to get divorced in this country. But sometimes, it is for the better. And in my case, it has been for the better.

I worked on a gift today for my mom that involved some letters from my grandfather to my grandmother. I realized how much he really loved her. I know in my heart that I will one day find that same love. There were times I found myself smiling and other times in near tears because you can read the pain in his heart when he was away from his family when in the process of moving to Florida.

One year ago, I followed through on a decision that I am so glad I didn't go back on. Thank to my friends and family for your support. It means more than you will ever know!

Attempting to wash it all away!

Many decisions are having to be made because of occurrences out of my control. But in doing so, I get rid of him quicker out of my life. And that is possibly within the next 3 months. That would be absolutely fabulous. There is still a little part of me that feels as though I am cheating on him, even though we aren't together and he has moved on. I think that if I break this tie from him now, then I will be able to move on even more with my life. And maybe I won't have the feeling as if I am cheating on him. I know it sounds crazy. But when I got married, I got married for life. It is very hard to turn that feeling off after a year. I know....I know....I am crazy, but this is life. This was never supposed to happen to me. I never wanted this to happen to me. It happened to my parents...it wasn't supposed to happen to me. So, I believe that the decision I am making, will only further my mind in making me feel as though I am NOT cheating. I feel as though this decision will help me because I will not have to deal with him ever again.

I have also taken a big step as of late, and have not worn much of the jewelry that he had given me over the years. At times I miss wearing it, but one piece in particular could be construed by potential suitors as if I am engaged. And that could be further from the truth. So, I only wear 2 pieces that he gave me. One, 1 of 2 watches and two, a pair of diamond studs that I don't take out at night. I feel that those pieces are ok because they aren't flashy.

On an even better note, I am soon to be rid of my roommate. They have a verbal offer to sell their home in Rhode Island. They are just waiting for the signed contract so that they can begin to make the final arrangements of moving down here. Long story short, they will be getting an apartment while looking for a house down here. Which will then free me up. At times, I have felt as though I am a maid/chef in my own home. She never lifted so much of a finger around here. Occassionally emptying the dishwasher, but that was about it. Cooked 4 times, in the 3 months (will be 4 when she moves out) that she was here and basically demanded dinner. Never once offering to help or do much about starting dinner. So, needless to say, I am really disenchanted with having a roommate ever again. I think a future mate/spouse will be different because I will be able to learn about the person before hand. I have learned my lesson all to well with this roommate thing. Never again will it be sight unseen. EVER!!!!