On-line dating....

Is it a joke? I am beginning to think that it truly is. It's getting down right frustrating that guys seem to be after one thing and one thing only. That's not what I am looking for and they don't seem to get it. I've been told that you have to kiss a few frogs and/or go through 100 a-holes in order to find Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now....and what's really sad is that I have gone through about 40 guys....40!!! That is an awful number of frogs/a-holes. I am hoping to find Mr. Right when the time is right. I want someone to love me for me and not try to change who I am. They must accept me for who I am and what I do in life.

Everything else is good! Just needed to get that off of my chest.

1 year ago today

I became a free woman. It was a year ago today that I walked into the Chattham County courthouse a married woman and walked out a single woman. Thinking about that statement makes me wonder about a lot of things in life. I honestly feel that it too easy to get divorced in this country. But sometimes, it is for the better. And in my case, it has been for the better.

I worked on a gift today for my mom that involved some letters from my grandfather to my grandmother. I realized how much he really loved her. I know in my heart that I will one day find that same love. There were times I found myself smiling and other times in near tears because you can read the pain in his heart when he was away from his family when in the process of moving to Florida.

One year ago, I followed through on a decision that I am so glad I didn't go back on. Thank to my friends and family for your support. It means more than you will ever know!

Attempting to wash it all away!

Many decisions are having to be made because of occurrences out of my control. But in doing so, I get rid of him quicker out of my life. And that is possibly within the next 3 months. That would be absolutely fabulous. There is still a little part of me that feels as though I am cheating on him, even though we aren't together and he has moved on. I think that if I break this tie from him now, then I will be able to move on even more with my life. And maybe I won't have the feeling as if I am cheating on him. I know it sounds crazy. But when I got married, I got married for life. It is very hard to turn that feeling off after a year. I know....I know....I am crazy, but this is life. This was never supposed to happen to me. I never wanted this to happen to me. It happened to my parents...it wasn't supposed to happen to me. So, I believe that the decision I am making, will only further my mind in making me feel as though I am NOT cheating. I feel as though this decision will help me because I will not have to deal with him ever again.

I have also taken a big step as of late, and have not worn much of the jewelry that he had given me over the years. At times I miss wearing it, but one piece in particular could be construed by potential suitors as if I am engaged. And that could be further from the truth. So, I only wear 2 pieces that he gave me. One, 1 of 2 watches and two, a pair of diamond studs that I don't take out at night. I feel that those pieces are ok because they aren't flashy.

On an even better note, I am soon to be rid of my roommate. They have a verbal offer to sell their home in Rhode Island. They are just waiting for the signed contract so that they can begin to make the final arrangements of moving down here. Long story short, they will be getting an apartment while looking for a house down here. Which will then free me up. At times, I have felt as though I am a maid/chef in my own home. She never lifted so much of a finger around here. Occassionally emptying the dishwasher, but that was about it. Cooked 4 times, in the 3 months (will be 4 when she moves out) that she was here and basically demanded dinner. Never once offering to help or do much about starting dinner. So, needless to say, I am really disenchanted with having a roommate ever again. I think a future mate/spouse will be different because I will be able to learn about the person before hand. I have learned my lesson all to well with this roommate thing. Never again will it be sight unseen. EVER!!!!

Update to the updates

Apparently, my email to the ex was "threatening" and he didn't like it too kindly!! He called me last night at 10:20 to tell me that he was very unhappy with my email and the situation that my attorneys have put him in by dragging their feet. And obviously, he doesn't understand the seriousness of the account being overdrawn and the fact that I could lose my job because of it and/or get reprimanded. At least I got his attention. And he finally called me to tell me what was going on. Sorry that you were stupid enough to take a job that you don't get paid unless you sell something, but you told me that this would not effect me or effect you being able to meet your obligation to pay your half of this bill. DUMB ASS!!! Stop making it my problem. Stop being a butt head!!

Updates and misc

Update 1: first PT in the morning....ready to feel better with my back.
Update 2: roomie still driving me crazy...is now sick, thanks to her granddaughter
Update 3: the ex is in violation of our divorce decree and I do not know what to do to fix it, he has not followed through with paying something and is putting my job in jeopardy, knows it, and doesn't seem to care what happens....can't stand this drama!! I just want him to go AWAY!!!

MRI and Misc

Had the MRI done today. Not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Did have to go all the way in the tube though and it was fairly close to my face. I wasn't too keen on that, but I survived. They had a selection of CD's and I picked one and listened to Sting. It was very difficult to lay still for 25+ minutes. I don't know exactly what time I sat down on the table, but I left just before 9am and my appointment was at 8am. I will get the results on Friday from the Dr.

Miscellaneous stuff is just that I am tired of the roommate. She can't be bothered to do anything around here. Don't even get me started on this past Saturday. I can't figure out a way to actually kick her out. It seems as though I have no life anymore. I can't have people over because she gives them dirty looks, i.e., my mom.

Other news is that what's-his-name is a moron and probably going to try and figure out some way to blame me for all of his problems that he has right now, financially anyway. Order was signed, sent to QDRO people and now there is a hold on everything. He wants his money and he can't have it and I am sure that has royally angered him that he has to wait again. Oh well. Your the one who wanted the divorce pal.

He tried, and doesn't know yet, that he failed

So, I have just about had it with my attorny in Georgia. They take their time to do everything. If it wasn't close to being finished, I would have fired them long ago. The reason I say this is because they didn't follow through completely with this whole QDRO properly and almost cost me alot of money. Because they didn't do what they were supposed to do, the 90-day wait period was lifted and WHN (what's-his-name) could have liquidated everything and walked away with giving me nothing. However, he called to tell me this and then told me he would not "screw" me out of my portion that is due to me. RRRIIIGGGHHHTTT!! I am due half of the value of the 401K with the loan that was taken out added back in. For example, a loan was taken out against his 401K because I had lost my job and we needed the money. The amount borrowed was approximately half the value of the 401K, taken out in Oct. 2008, which funded his trip out of the Country, which was the beginning of the end of my marriage. Anyway, the amount of the loan is added back into this portion that is there, and I am due half of the total amount. His brilliant idea was to liquidate and give me what is due to me, which HE calculated to be approximately $6K. WRONG!! I am due alot more than that, and if I had lost the total amount because of these damn attorney's in GA, I would have been screaming bloody murder!

So, he doesn't know it yet, because I'm not calling him or telling him this, but there has been another 90-day waiting period placed on the 401K and I will now be getting what is owed to me. This has been a long time coming, but I am so thankful to Kathie Jo for helping me with keeping the ball rolling as I have. The Order was signed by the judge on March 1 and the QDRO people have it and have placed a stop on anything that can be done to the 401K. Who's gonna have the last laugh now?!?!

Anyway, I am glad to have one more step under my feet for getting him out of my life. We still have a bill to pay together, but there should be no reason to speak unless there is a huge issue with this bill. Only another 2 years, 9 months left to pay on the bill. Pray that I can keep my sanity if I need to deal with him anymore.

He's not going to be happy about the above. He's planning to liquidate and when he does that, he has to pay the loan back out of HIS portion. He was trying to get me to pay a portion of the loan back if he had liquidated the entire amount. I've already paid my portion by liquidating my own 401K and taking the penalties on it. I am not going to do it again. I refuse and he was going to screw me on making me pay anyway. So, 2 years and 9 months can't come soon enough in my opinion. Not that I am counting the days or anything! LOL!

Hope everyone is doing well. Dr's for me tomorrow. Will post something when I know what is going on. Love to you!