I am having a hard time grasping how my life has turned completely upside down within the last 48 hours. I have tried every which way that I can to keep things from falling apart as they have, but that seems to be to no avail. I have a very strong faith and belief in God and I need His support more than ever right now for the thoughts and concerns that I have. I don't understand what has happened between David and I. I don't know how to fix it and I don't know if he wants to fix it. But I do know that I have to fix me and I have to get help for me. Right now, I am working on me and maybe life will make more sense in a few days. I gave up a lot to be with my husband in Savannah. But I did it because I love him and want to be with him. I love him so much that it hurts. I didn't know if I would ever find someone to begin with. We met on a blind date and we were inseparable. We moved in together after only knowing each other for 5 months. He proposed to me February 14, 2001 and we were married June 15, 2002. We've been together for almost 10 years. That is a long time to be with someone. Never in my life did I think that I would find someone, marry him and be completely head over heels for him. He still gives me butterflys when he walks in the door. I love him with all of my heart and soul and made him the center of my universe. Maybe that was wrong, but I thought that was what is supposed to happen in a marriage and in life. Then if you have kids, they become your world. Together!! God has decided for some reason that he doesn't want for us to have kids or that maybe we aren't ready. But I don't think that I should be blamed for that. We went to the doctor and we know that there is nothing wrong with either one of us. I am open to the idea of adoption. There are plenty of children out there that need a home and I know that David and I would provide a good home. But priorities need to be straightened for both of us and if it is God's will that we have our own children or adopt, so be it.
Please say extra prayers for David and I. We really need them.
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