So I got "the" phone call I had been waiting for from my attorney's office Monday morning. I have to be in Savannah on Friday at 1:30 for the final hearing of our divorce. I have tried to find people to go with me, however, no one could go at the last minute. But the more I thought about it, the more I need to do this on my own. My friend Kathie Jo has called me a "Diamond." And any which way you strike a diamond, it is still beautiful. You can beat it, smash it, or cut it into smaller pieces and it's still going to be beautiful. And all because its really, really tough. And that is what I am. Tough.
I have realized over the last 3 months that I have not been with David that I gave up so much in my life. And for him to not recognize that and just throw it and me all away is just plain selfish. There were lots of things that I should have really paid attention to prior to our marriage. But I ignored them because I was in love. A part of me will always love David, but I am not in love with him. Not anymore. I am a little angry with myself for putting up with all of this for as long as I did. One thing I know for sure is that I am not regretting this decision. I am a much stronger person for taking the first step in moving on with my life. I'm still working on me, but I have come so far in a short amount of time.
Friday will be hard, I accept that. But now that means I can move on with my life and do the things that I want to do. I have some friends I need to go visit and just haven't been able to get down to see them. And now that I don't have this hanging over my head, I can plan to go visit and not have to worry about cancelling my plans. And for that, I am excited. I am ready to get on with my life. Eventually, I would like to find someone who will appreciate me for me and will accept me for me. I don't want someone who will try to change me or my image to suit them.
Please pray for me. Pray for strength to stand in front of the judge and not crumble. Pray that I have the strength to not be emotional (like I am right now). Pray that I have the strength to spend one final weekend in Savannah. Pray for travelling mercies to and from. I leave Thursday after work and will be home some time on Saturday. Not sure what time I am leaving from Savannah. Hugs to all who read this!
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Sending love your way. You're in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteYou are always in my prayers, Diamond! And I know you will do just fine and come home renewed, energized, and ready for the rest of your life *smile* Diamonds don't crumble, so respectfully sparkle for the judge so he can close that file and get it off of his desk - and you do the same for yourself, too!
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